I’m not sure if this is the calm before the storm, the quiet after the storm or the very distinct smell of rain right before a thunder storm rolls in. Ah, the joys of the rollercoaster that is tapering.

This week I have fluttered between panic, resignation, despair, confusion, excitement and worry. I’ve purchased shoes I don’t need and socks I don’t need. I labelled my drop bags, packed, unpacked and re-packed my mandatory gear and analysed which of my race day, race week and general life habits are good, bad or indifferent. I even contemplated emailing the folks over at UTMB to see if they would reconsider my race number to accomodate my lucky number.

I experienced the highs and lows of tapering, those runs that just feel absolutely magic as the weeks and months of fatigue start to lift from your legs and those runs where you convince yourself that that weird feeling in your foot is 100% a stress fracture, just like your hamstring is 100% tearing off the bone and you will probably ruin your race anyway by tying your shoes too tight.

Of course I cut down my runs (and increased my dog walking) as per usual taper protocols.

I went about the things I usually do before a race. I went and got my nails done (with a mask of course because I’m not risking getting sick like last year), cleaned all the dust of my shoes so NZ customs don’t get upset with me and collected my race day nutrition from the warehouse in the city (shoutout to the folks over at Aid Station, not sponsored).

Having everything ready to go helps to calm my nerves. Control the controllable as they say, which for me means having my gear packed into carry on and everything as ready to go as it can be. I just have to check in, do a quick stop and the supermarket for drop bag goodies and I’m good to jump on that bus at 2:00 AM on Saturday morning for the 4:00 AM start.

After a week or so of stressing, I’m now oddly excited. I’m excited to see the volunteers, to say thank you to them and to their trails one last time. I’m excited to see what exactly is going to happen after 100km. I’m excited to see Ali and the boys from Dirt Church at the finish line. I’m excited to take way too many photos and videos with my new GoPro that I just had to have for this race. Maybe it’s because it’s the last time and I’m going all soft and sentimental, but I’m feeling really grateful that I get to do this.