“Remember when you wanted what you currently have?”

I heard this quote recently and it sat on my chest for the rest of the day. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

At first, I felt extremely guilty that I didn’t feel grateful.

I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. Nothing major just feeling lost and unmotivated, finding myself going through the every day routine of life and not finding any real joy or spark in each day. I honestly couldn’t tell you what day it was and lived to randomly consume whatever was fed to me by Netflix. I’m not looking for your pity, I’m good enough at feeling sorry for myself all on my own.

And with this quote and this realisation, I started thinking about how far I have come and how many goals I have managed to check off.

But it got me thinking, what happens when you achieve all your goals? What keeps people like Serena Williams coming back for more? What is the difference between people who become the GOAT and decide to be greater and those that don’t even start or decide that’s enough? And when is enough enough?

I’m sure everyone’s relationship with goals is different. I’m a goal oriented person through and through, no question about it. I don’t need a Cosmo quiz or a psychologist to tell me that.

Since I was in high school, I’ve had a list of goals that I would usually come up with in late December/ early January. Regulars like “learn another language” and “loose 5kg” would always populate the list as well as more concrete and measurable goals like saving an amount of money or getting into a particular course or career ambition.

I’m protective of my goals, just like my dreams. Some I shout from the roof top and others I secretly toil away at, sometimes for weeks, sometimes for decades.

That quote got me going through the list. I swelled with gratitude but also pride in what I’ve managed to tick off but it didn’t quell the feeling that I think was causing the heavy feeling in my chest. I didn’t know what was next. I didn’t know the next goal and without one, I felt like a rudderless boat bouncing around in Bass Strait, just hoping for the best.

To be honest, writing this, I still don’t know what’s next but I’m taking some comfort in identifying the problem.